it's been so long... isn't that how it always is?

i'm taking a break at the moment, as my life has been in shambles as of late. i am newly single, discovering pretty things to do with the recently found apartment space... i've been spending lots of nights at home with the kittums, drinking tea and painting with the windows open. i've never painted in my life, but i'm taking to it very well in my humble opinion. (that's actually what brought me on here today.) there are no words how much i love artmart, and all the potential in that building... not the people, just the pretty paper and colors. i can spend way too much money there. i also bought satin sheets a couple days ago, which i've never had before. it's nice but the pillows never actually stay on the bed, and i like a lot of pillows.
also, a couple weeks ago my best friend was incarcerated, he will be back before next year is out though thankfully. court was horrifying. the judicial system has way too much power.
school has ended at long last. i graduated in august. it's weird to think it's over... at 25, i've been in school literally my entire life, the last two decades. i guess i'm glad i got it out of the way... but i'm left wondering what people are supposed to do between graduation and death.
it seems like everything i used to define myself with went away at some point. the things you enjoy that you drop along the way to move faster, you forget you need those little things to get through the days when life gets hard.
i feel like everything that filled every second, of my everyday, is gone. and it's throwing me into a severe crisis. i wake up and i don't know what to do. and everything i can find to do, is just to distract me from the fact that everything that used to make me happy either died, or left me, or morphed into something that makes me sick... i'm coping...
this is not miserable space, this is creative space... unfortunately, i've been taking more pictures on my phone than on my camera. perhaps miss anjou-pirum will have to get back to work... anjou-pirum.deviantart.com. <3

up to over 70k pageviews now? how time flies... funny to think i started this page 7 years ago. some of you have watched me grow up a significant amount... i wish i could go back and tell her things.
hope everything is going well... and hope to see you again soon.

loves, ennui zero***